Jindex

Men: steal your heart, fades
Dogs: steal your heart, dies
Books: steal your heart, always there

adulting: nope

coffee: bitter stuff fueling millions worldwide; aka hot bean juice

diet & exercise: what are those?

dreamers: romanticize everything; creatures sentimental of things past

Ed Sheeran: my therapist

flexibility: same as f word

grenades: stylish throwable coup de grace when you’re cornered, the more the better, no I will not catch one for you

high heels: objectifying torture devices labeled as fashionable; likely to break your ankle

horoscope: the stars and planets will not affect your life in any way, unless they crash into you, in either case your death is inevitable

karaoke: self actualizing activity that takes down walls and connects you with your fellow man while paying homage to the greats

superthumb

lottery: see “cash sinkhole”

love: is putting someone’s needs before yours, you know like how Kristoff brought you back here to Hans and left you forever.

media stickers: horrid images conveying no meaning and serve to drive me up the wall

microwave: magical heating device that apparently doesn’t mix with plastic, metal, Styrofoam, or kittens

princess syndrome: expecting everyone to treat you to dinner during your birthday month (and the rest of the year)

retrench: dreadful business of cutting back on books and noms

revenge: lots more entertaining than forgiveness

sarcasm: the 6th love language

soda: yes please – morning, noon, and night

solitude: undervalued in its simplicity; element of introverts

tattoo: the highest form of commitment found in our society

time: makes fools and liars of us all

traffic: price of diversions

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