Category Archives: Life Truth

New is Not Always Better

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.
– Ephesians 4:14

A few semesters ago I had the privilege of taking a Critical Thinking class.  Any kind of thinking, whether based in logic or emotion, is a type of philosophy.  And everyone is involved with philosophy every minute we’re awake.  For those who claim not to be for such lofty scholarly matters, mind if I take your keys and wallet after punching you in the face?

For those in pursuit of accuracy and consistency in life, sound philosophical arguments are beneficial because it doesn’t just take the what is given at the moment.  Most people develop their opinions over the years due to influences like family, culture, school, Scripture, etc.  Either they sort through what they hear over the years after objective consideration or they take it all in like a garbage chute.  But faith must overcome challenges, otherwise it is weak and worthless.  Unfortunately, we all follow of a series of confirmation biases and we are left with illogical conclusions made from faulty premises.  This severe lack of examination of our thoughts is due to a combination of our ignorance and laziness.  Having to stop and doubt what seems to be agreeable requires a lot of labor that we simply don’t want to deal with.  So we tend to just shrug and keep going along the DeNile River.

Today’s spotlight has to do with something that is cited by many seemingly respectable characters in my life and frankly I’m appalled by it.

csExamples
– Men shouldn’t be the only ones to ask women out, it’s the 21st century!
– Religion has no place in the postmodern era.
– It’s 2016, why do I have to provide for my kids again?
– Murder is more acceptable at 2pm rather than noon.
– If that’s a new product, it must be the best!

It’s amazing to me how people keep up this consumerist attitude with confidence.  I can say with certainty that I’ve never used this as an argument in my life nor did it ever occur to me to think this way.  Yet it’s whipped out constantly by my family and media like a pair of sunglasses.  Be straight, is this one of those common sense conspiracies? As if each divergent concept automatically merits positive change. Wake up, people! Disregarding the past on a generalized basis is quite juvenile and narrow minded, which ironically stands in the way of progress.   Sorry guys, this means you actually need to dig and get into the how and whys of the matter, instead of lazily dismissing ideas on the grounds of a clock.

So let it be known here and now that I’d have more respect for someone who says we’d be better off because of a claim they personally live out rather than attempting to validate a statement on air.  At least be up front about flaunting your own authority.

Much as we all love our own opinions, we need to keep a lid on dispensing unsolicited addages.  Otherwise if we go around making comments without facts or experts to support us, we’re left with useless conclusions best given to the fire.  We all have our strengths and experience and they are necessary at the table – given appropriate times.   There’s a sea of voices out there to coerce you and ultimately you’re responsible for which ones you follow, so choose wisely my friends!

Karl Barth and C.S. Lewis on the Birth of ‘Chronological Snobbery’

Side note: I would also discourage the opposite side of this fallacy line, appeal to tradition, which is also common.  Old things work fine, yes, but there should be room to grow as well. I wouldn’t want to be one of those who are stuck behind because of pride refusing to learn the new technology (even though I am overly resistant to adaptation).

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4 Conflict Styles

During conflicts with people I’m close to, I typically
(mentally check those that apply) 

1. __ keep feelings about the disagreement to myself
2. __ bend to other person’s wishes
3. __ pursue my side of the issue
4. __ try working to satisfy both expectations

1. __ run from discussion of the topic
2. __ give in to others’ desires
3. __ take control so decision goes in my favor
4. __ exchange info to solve problem together

1. __ stay away from the issue
2. __ go along with others’ suggestions
3. __ try to convince the other person I’m right
4. __ bring all concerns out in open to resolve issue

1. __ try not to be involved in unpleasant exchange
2. __ pretend to agree just to satisfy expectations
3. __ accuse other person of wrongdoing
4. __ investigate issue to find acceptable solution

So tally up which number you checked the most, or tied.

Here are the results:
turtleconflict
1) Turtle
Good: Keep calm, let it go
Bad: Denial and running away

 

 

 

bearconflict
2) Teddy bear
Good: Harmony and peace, everyone
Bad: Doormat tendencies

 

 

 

sharkconflict

 

3) Shark
Good: Let’s deal with it
Bad: My way or the highway, loser!

 

 

owlconflict
4) Owl
Good: Respect and problem solving
Bad: Takes time

 

 

 

How’d you guys do?  I learned I’m a shark/turtle.  That means I’m a fiery control freak hiding inside a frozen shell of insecurity. Complex mess!

Our parents’ styles influence us
We grow up learning from observing our authority figures (and culture).   Which may or may not be a good thing.  Sometimes we need to realize unhealthy patterns and break through them, which takes a lot of observation and practice.

There is a time and place for each of these styles
Not every person or scenario calls for owl-like teamwork. We need to think about our response modes based on the other party’s maturity level.  It’s a matter of picking and choosing what hills to die on, so to speak.

We need to learn from others that complement us
People who are owls can learn from those who are turtles if the situation calls for it.  Teddy bears can learn from sharks how to be more honest in their opinions.  And so on, we all can benefit from differences throughout our community.

Conflicts can be used for good
If you’re like me, you see confrontation as too much drama.  I mean yeah, it’s boring if we agree on everything all the time but if a personal discussion about preferences start, I head for the door.  However, a relationship won’t evolve if one or both people constantly eat their feelings and back down.  I hear that respect goes a long way in solving conflicts, not that I tend to go that route often.

There are many factors that go into conflicts and they require wisdom and experience.  You can throw in the Myer-Briggs views to unravel causation and the level of selfishness as well as fear when it comes to our patterns.  Being reasonably open about issues in a loving manner is essential for success in life, otherwise we would be trapped in a cycle of resentment and mistrust.  In conclusion, the ideal is understanding and communication.  After all, that is what Christ models for us in His obedience that centers on the eternal outcome.

*dedicated to Ang*


A Life Worth Living

Church retreats have been a part of my life since I was 14.  This particular organization, the Young Adult Network (YAN) is very precious to me and it is my privilege to be a part of the planning team every year.  It is such a joy to attend meetings and work with other mature adults who are committed to the future of their respective churches.   I love seeing people interacting and friendships (bromance) form.  There were flakes who backed out of attending but I was overly grateful to spend time with those who showed up during their birthday weekend or despite being ill.

When it comes down to it, what makes a retreat so great?  There are amenities, workshops, atmosphere, games, and songs, all with consideration to cost.  For me, as long as the speaker does his job to illustrate the issues showing us the reality of our identity and what Christ has done for us then I’m good.  Otherwise, people just need to show up and be blessed.  That, and a free flowing soda fountain at the conference center, aw yeah!

I: Jesus and the Gospel
“My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39
Pastor Brian said he will attempt to boil down all the complicated religions of the world –

All of them: You are on the bottom of the ladder and you need to climb up doing ABC (5 pillars, Eightfold path, 613 commandments, give money,  etc.)

Christianity: Christ came down the ladder and we are invited to sit the top with him

What did it take for us to access such a thing?  God is perfect.  Therefore anything broken and inconsistent against him should be destroyed.  Brian noted most heroes don’t fear their destruction, Socrates drank the hemlock calmly and many martyrs and revolutionaries died for the cause with gusto.
But something brought the son of God to his knees and asking for another way.  What could have rattled unflappable-always-in-control Lord Jesus who calmed a fierce storm with ease and raised the dead?  The full wrath of God is infinitely fearsome and apocalyptic, yet Jesus took on the cup of full of the punishment humanity deserves.  We can’t appreciate how sweet the good news is until we concern ourselves with the extent of the bad news.  We are dust but for some reason he values us.  He is on our side no matter what.  That means we have freedom from opinions or expectations.   This is the good news, not merely good advice like all other philosophies. We can live without being worried about failure or rejection!  *relieved sigh*

II: Jesus and Status
Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:17
There are so many benefits from our unshakeable status as children of God.  But we seem to focus on things that are inherently neutral but get in the way of our pursuing him.  We feel slighted when our ideas are stolen, when our talents are overshadowed by rivals.  It is human to revel in our strengths and desire recognition, but it traps us in a cycle of pride and insecurity.  We keep our eyes on ourselves.  The way out could be to just stop sizing each other up or evaluating how well we succeed in social situations.  Brian said it’s not just about cutting off our quest for esteem, but hold onto the fact we have God’s humility and confidence which feeds us and keep our eyes on him instead.  Then when others fail we suffer, when they succeed we rejoice.  We have to redirect ourselves to this upside down thinking and will be healthier for it.

III: Jesus and the World
They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. Romans 1:25
Jesus did not choose to go along with the world.  He is a curious character, saying weird things and going against convention all the time.  Is it that the world is playing a certain key and he is off starting a counter culture movement?  Wrong!  The world is playing the wrong key.  Jesus was present at creation and it all belongs to him to run as he sees fit therefore we need to learn to play the correct way with him.
It is not an attractive prospect, we are used to seeing the pretty packages offered to us and many voices call to us constantly, but the contents are useless and empty in the end.  We try to use God as a tool, saying that we will follow if _____ and set limits because we want our desires and his free blessing, not discomfort that leads to maturity.  Jesus said crown me or kill me.  That means 100% commitment one way or another.  I find myself  wavering often, 80% one day, 60% another since I am not immune to voices from without and within promising a better life.  We need to challenge them and ask, why should I trust you?  Did you die for me like Jesus did?  We have every reason to trust God but we tend not to.   It will be obvious to God and those around us whose words win the battle.

IV: Jesus and Service
Two lovers walk along the pier at night.  The man turns to the woman and says “I love you so much, and I’m going to prove it to you” and promptly jumps off the edge to drown.  We don’t see any value in such an act.  If Jesus just went and died a horrible gruesome death to demonstrate his devotion, we might have the same reaction (um, thank you?) However, if the woman in the story was drowning and the man saved her but perished while doing so, we see the beauty in his sacrifice.  Jesus died to save us because there was a price to pay.  If we take someone’s phone and drop it in a cup of coffee, we might be forgiven but there are consequences in that the broken item needs to be restored/replaced.

V: Jesus and Love
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  1 Corinthians 13:4-7
These words are commonly thrown out during weddings and even found in secular songs (with inappropriate slants).  It seems all flowery and harmless until you actually consider the active nature that love demands.  According to God, love is a series of choices, not just a state of being.  I look at this list and feel like there’s no way I embody even one of those statements. We tend to be patient in general until someone betrays us, then we react like a porcupine, with its defense spines made to impale the other.  Love costs us, are you willing to pay?
Brian said love means telling the truth.  When you see someone doing wrong, tell them you love them too much to see them in bondage.  Looking the other way is unChristlike (that so interferes with my m.o.).  God did not look the other way, he chose to speak to us and acted for us.  Even though we are undesirable, he did not act out of pity, he showed up on our level with compassion to heal.  Do not solely give love to those we believe are worthy, it should be given without conditions or thought of return.   We have to stop faking politeness or keeping distance, genuine kindness is the answer to selfish behavior.

Walking the Walk – Conflict & Drama
As administrator of registration, I worked for weeks on end putting all the details together and communicating on what to expect.  This is not an area I was familiar with and wasn’t aware of how it was run before.  Prepared as I was, there were a lot of unforeseen contingencies that hit me big time.  Previous to the actual event I was never more prone to such stress or swearing in my life.  My excellent set up was thrown over and I was overwhelmed like never before, feeling like this was a storm with so much noise without escape.  If not for my friends on the team supporting me and helping with the logistics it would have been a total disaster.  Normally I would have some sense of composure and years worth of self control, but I was on full sour mode.  I’m sure most people saw I was on edge and were on the receiving end of my hateful state.  I apologized as much as I could, my main concern was that others enjoyed themselves and weren’t damaged by my worst behavior.  As it is, I’m game to improve for next time should I be entrusted with such a daunting project.

Workshop 1 – Giving Thanks
Being thankful is essential to wisdom and results in more happiness.  I am grateful for my journey thus far and somehow I managed to find wonderful friends and live in a free country for now.  I had to stop and look outside of myself in the midst of the work and shake off all the negative feelings that rose throughout the weekend.

Workshop 2 – Principles for Dating Wisely
Romance is the last thing on my mind during retreats, especially when I’m involved in planning.  I took this one to support my friend and also it worked out to where I was able to get administrative tasks done during the talk (yes, rude of me).   I did pay attention and was reminded how we need to choose selflessness over selfishness, which is my whole aversion to dating.  I love my freedom and running my life the way I see fit.  Also it was good to see the guys reprimanded on their lack of decisiveness and clarity.

Favorite Moments
– Guys getting their nails painted
– Pink deco guitar with pink shirted musician
– Nerdy friend running like an awkward ninja
– Team hiking (sort of)
– Cute baby moments
– Realizing my dream of showing a movie during free time

Thoughts Upon Return
It was a lot of activity which was a drain for me and going around the site was a workout.  So pleasant to be back home where I can appreciate the silence away from social interaction. I did feel a longing and frustration with some of my relationships, unable to see a way to change them, but really it’s no use wishing as God’s love is more than enough for me, as the song goes.
Truth – our lives are run in pursuit/worship of money and status.  I see my bosses tying their lives to the ups and downs of business, slaves to numbers without regard of others’ well being.  Many Christians are no different, holding onto the lie that is the American Dream; consumed with comfort instead of living radically and generously. I see lots of dead people, they just exist, instead of fully devoted to a life worth living.  Don’t waste time consuming endless garbage of the flesh and the world!  As I look forward to a couple years ahead to the next retreat I wonder what what changes are ahead and if I keep my eyes on Jesus if what I build will last.

 

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Is Following Jesus a Drag?

Yes the free gift of eternal life is good news.  Is this reality synonymous with inconvenience?  Let me put it this way: Yes.  Since it is natural to go along with the program the world sets for us, it takes a compelling truth to willingly die to desires and acknowledge an authority over us.   Here are some aspects that a Christian walk has in store for us:

Suffering through Trials
Want problems?  Sign me up.  I always want to be like the chosen ones, you know those Jews who had it easy for millennia.  I mean do they  get all the luck or what?  The Bible says plainly that whether we belong to Him or not it rains on us both.  “You mean we can’t we get a special protective leaf or umbrella held by an angel to provide shelter when we need it?” Life is hard.  There is no charmed path for anyone.  It is also a tiring battle to be rooted in God and called to be a mature example in a culture that is morally and ethically declining.

No one to blame but yourself.
It takes strength to set aside my pride and admit that I’m not perfect, I have to work on many deep flaws and need to depend on God every day.   This is difficult in a country where we are so entitled as a consumer who is used to being catered to left and right.  I have a section in my notebook where I write take home ideas and thoughts during sermons or studies.  It is titled “God is right and I am wrong” which is a reminder not to give myself credit and not take any opinion over His.

Is it all rules and regulations?
Limits = lame. Like when our parents try to protect and teach us to avoid unnecessary trouble and foolishness. Psh. Who needs that. It’s just easier to be yourself and go with the flow. Society is looking out for me and my well being is safely invested in trends and popular opinions of the day.

You mean I have to go to church?  With other Christians (gasp)?
There are days where I am unmotivated to attend service and would love to sleep in or veg out instead, the same way I would battle with classes or any form of exercise.   This has to do with how introverted and lazy I am, but I imagine there are infinite cases out there involving drama and awkwardness far more compelling.  Just like any other group, you’ll find all types of members.  We are all one family but there are those that take being a child of God seriously and there are fans who subscribe then wander off to do their own thing.  We struggle but we can encourage one another in our teaching for the best and ideal way to live for Christ.  On one hand the teaching will call us out and challenge us to be better which is never fun.  On the other hand messages unify, bring us to  freedom, and closer to God when we deal with our sin.

Things that seem to be no-no’s/ off limits:

– FML
– “My way or the highway”
– Devotion to celebrities (even Christian ones)
– Suicidal
– Conditional/ selective love
– People suck
– Drugs/ drunkenness
– “I will never forgive you”
– Revenge
– Foul language
– Sex outside marriage

It’s a pain to be aware of the fine balance between liberty and honorable behavior.  There are moments when I am tempted to say the swear words already in my head out loud.  If truth or belief is evidenced by only feeling, then I would consider myself a Christian on a handful of days.  I don’t have a sense of victory when I wake up every morning and I can’t say I always anticipate heaven without fear of death.  It takes effort to evaluate our habits and attitudes or its affect on others then consider another healthier course.

Q: So, why would you want to commit to Christ anyway?
A: Glad you asked!

Equality
Jesus offers everyone an opportunity to know Him and be in His presence forever.  He accepts and welcomes us, especially if we are misfits and rejects, because He was one also.  We are all God’s subjects; there is no hierarchy at the foot of the cross. No one has an advantage over the other. We are all part of the body that has their own part and talent such as the eye, ear, nose, etc. There is no point system counting money given or hours in church. We will all be judged and rewarded according to our heart and obedience.

(Real) Epic heroes/ villains
The Bible is hardcore.  Against it nothing can stand.
There are mighty manly examples with Joseph, Moses, Daniel, David, and Paul, to name a few.  Don’t forget Esther, Abigail, and Jael who took care of business too!
And we also get to look into all the colossal failures stemming back from Eve, the bloody side of David, the folly of Solomon and Samson, as well as the greatest traitor Judas. They are reminders that no one is less susceptible to temptation or depravity.
And then we have the 3rd act finale, Jesus’ power over death, the destruction of of Satan in Revelation, and establishing a new heaven and earth (NSFW)
Like Greg Laurie says, sure there’s Spiderman, Batman, and Superman.  That’s cute.  We have Godman!!

Transformation
There is a difference between going through life and growing through life.  Hopefully no one will stay stuck in their state lacking progress but instead renewed day by day through interaction with the word and a Christian community. Through Christ we are healed of the darkness that plagues humanity with rejection and pain. I love to hear speakers share their stories of how God made them over and lead them to unexpected people and places.  Jesus is the example and way to characteristics of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

Our worth and identity is in Christ
When the creator of the universe cares for you and says he loves you, there is nothing that can top or remove that.   We can worship external things that leave, fade or die.  The things of the material American Dream are meaningless and empty on their own.  It will cost you everything to surrender to  God, the definition of wisdom and love, but He will bring rest and satisfaction.   There is no thought or action that God does not know and yet He still wants us completely because we are broken and no sin committed is news to God who sees throughout all time.  It’s not a matter of who you are but whose and it’s wonderful when that is an association with the glorious and mighty king!

 


Love Notion #1: The Checklist

  Some women will just jump into a relationship with any guy who pays them attention, which speaks about their level of self worth.  When one connection ends they anxiously prowl, hook up, and waste time in their limited life going through the same mistakes.  They are known as serial daters or I call them Settling Sues.  Maybe it’s just me but I don’t want to scatter my heart around or set a bad example with a reputation.  Because lessons learned are usually burns but a lot of people take their sweet time to realize that.

So, we should know not to rush into anything.  But does that qualify tall blue walls instead?  Here’s what a lot of girls (Conceited Cadys) on the other extreme end demand more or less:

  • Handsome while modest
  • Cultured but not worldly
  • Financially secure yet generous
  • Leader and also a servant
  • Sensitive without being feminine

     This is the impossible balance.  What does that amount to?  Jesus Christ, basically.  Actually, I’m sure even He’s amiss on some of these because He was known as plain and pretty much dirt poor.  Let’s face it, guys have it rough.  This means Cady types want such an extraordinary man because they believe they are the perfect Mary or Hannah.  I am so sure they fit the Psalm 31 description of an angelic woman super hostess who encourages men to be better and support them unconditionally.  I also have to say it’s messed up that Cadys care so much about height, clothing style, and their vehicle or real estate holdings. “Girls don’t like boys/ girls like cars and money” – Good Charlotte

Not that guys really have a clear or healthy picture of what they want either. What kind of preferences do they have? “Uh…supermodel?” Okay, bye now, thanks for playing!

I’d be grateful to have someone compatible who can put up with me, getting there is already tough as it is. Here are some ideas I have as far as boundaries:

Loves God
Anyone who is not submissively transformed by truth and love is a fool I cannot respect (neither is a solemn downer who does not know how to laugh or take a joke).

Sociable
Two introverts do not make a right.

Clean/ Organized
Because I’m a lazy slob.

Healthy Family Background
I’d rather there be no major issues or rifts I’ll bring enough kdrama for both of us  🙂

Considerate of Time
You’re not a child, please introduce yourself to a clock, thank you!

Bromance
Peers and mentorship involvement are vital otherwise the relationship will suffocate me.

Not Consumed with Career/ Media/ Hobby
Drop the weights, remote, phone and back away slowly…

Not a Sensitive Drama King
Emotional diva men need not apply.  Trust me, I’m way ahead of you on the jealousy and criticism department.

Hotness Factor (8 out of 10)
This is probably a controversial one, but hey, I can’t control who I’m attracted to any more than I can change my own face and body.  Confession: I have a weakness for guys with nice hairdos.

Also, someone who tries to hard to please people and has a facade is ick.  I can’t stand mild types with no motivation.  Goody goodies are no fun but I don’t want the extreme bad guy punk either.   Also I don’t think it’ll work out if they are as picky and allergic to food as I am, I could use a dining partner who acts as a trash bin.

Bonus Traits
Girls like guys with skills.  I would like it if the guy were active in:

Heart = animal lover; passion for missions; can deal with children
Arts = movies; musically inclined; likes cooking
Mind = teachable; news aware; speaks another language; math talented
Body = exercise once in a while wouldn’t be bad; extra cool if they were handy around the house; masseuse please!

I have high standards but at the same time know that I act like a princess instead of a crazy flawed human who will be a bother to put up with.  I know I need to grow up and get over the ideal of meeting the tall dark vampire who smoothly romances me like a perfect gentleman and buys me roses on occasion.  Yes, that’s pathetic and delusional, so that’s why I need as much help from God as I can get!

husband_checklist_m


Look in the Mirror

10 Ways to Know Your Girl is a Keeper

I often joke about finding a guy to meet a specific list, but really I believe it’s also about being the right girl.  This is quite a lofty set of qualifications.  I know for sure I have trouble with at least 2 of these, hmmm…


Women are Crazy Men are Stupid

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I read an article once that said that when women have a conversation, they’re communicating on five levels. They follow the conversation that they’re actually having, the conversation that is specifically being avoided, the tone being applied to the overt conversation, the buried conversation that is being covered only in subtext, and finally the other person’s body language. That is, on many levels, astounding to me. I mean, that’s like having a freaking superpower. When I, and most other people with a Y chromosome, have a conversation, we’re having a conversation. Singular. We’re paying attention to what is being said, considering that, and replying to it. All these other conversations that have apparently been going on for the last several thousand years? I didn’t even know that they existed until I read that stupid article, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. …

So, ladies, if you ever have some conversation with your boyfriend or husband or brother or male friend, and you are telling him something perfectly obvious, and he comes away from it utterly clueless? I know it’s tempting to thing to yourself, ‘The man can’t possibly be that stupid!’ But yes. Yes, he can. Our innate strengths just aren’t the same. We are the mighty hunters, who are good at focusing on one thing at a time. For crying out loud, we have to turn down the radio in the car if we suspect we’re lost and need to figure out how to get where we’re going. That’s how impaired we are. I’m telling you, we have only the one conversation. Maybe some kind of relationship veteran like Michael Carpenter can do two, but that’s pushing the envelope. Five simultaneous conversations? Five? Shah. That just isn’t going to happen. At least, not for me.
– The Dresden Files

Spongebob: You wanna join us?
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: Okay. Have fun inside!
Squidward: What do you mean, “have fun inside?”
SpongeBob: Just… have fun inside, see you tomorrow.
Squidward: Oh. Bye. (Rushes out again, SpongeBob and Patrick start reading again.) You little sneak! I see what you’re doing!
SpongeBob: (Confused) What?

Squidward: Don’t think I can’t see what you’re doing!
SpongeBob: What?
Squidward: (Accusingly) You’re saying I can’t take it.
SpongeBob: But all I…
Squidward: Huh! You’re saying I’m soft. You think your little “have fun inside” challenge is going to make me come camping with you. But that is NEVER going to happen! There’s no way I’m going to sit out here all night with you two losers! So get used to it.
SpongeBob: Okay. Have fun inside!
Squidward: (Yelling) That’s it! I’m in! I’ll show you camping!

Males: WHAT is that supposed to mean?

The main key being: “(er) What? (no clue)”

Females: What is THAT supposed to mean?

The first excerpt with Harry’s observation does not solely point out how dense men can be, it also reflects the complexity of a woman’s mind. By “complexity” I mean hyper-sensitive-schizo-paranoid-manipulative-analysis-at-every-angle-while-inferring-unrelated-negative-themes. Admittingly this subconscious process sounds petty and tiresome. A suggestion to those who lead into useless fights this way would be to stop and change their pill type from crazy to chill. In the world of salesmen and politicians the 5 levels are employed offensively in their sadistic games and even purposely developed to their advantage. Sick respect.

A translation to a typical woman’s sayings and other good stuff:

http://www.begent.org/women.htm

And we have this prize example:

“What do you think about [insert anything here]?”
She might ask you this question and truly believe on the inside that she’s genuinely interested in your answer. This is a trick, this is only a trick. she means to say is, “Confirm that you feel the same way I feel about this.” I ain’t got a clue why women continue to ask men questions like this They probably want to give the man a chance to speak his opinion before they tell him their own. In reality, this is only a trick that’s best avoided by saying either “I’ve never really thought about it” or making a real good assumption at what you think her answer will be and making that yours. (thoughtconcept.com)

I know I really appreciate it when someone interviews me with open-ended questions in order to fish for a response that complements or contrasts with their hidden agenda.
Nope. Wait. Over it. Let’s chuck that mess in the trash. How about narrow the question down to specifics so as not to overwhelm the recipient with a generally broad concept?

Is there a better or worse way of thinking?
If you ask me personally this is a loose breakdown:

Rational + logic = right
Irrational + emotion = no solution

The one who can handle both planets of communication wins at life. If I could choose it would be the KISS method. Just say what you mean and mean what you say. What is the point of all these mind games? How is the conflict derived from double speak/ tests/ and expectations beneficial? This can’t change overnight but shouldn’t we be willing to adjust and meet halfway? What do I know, I’m not a doctor. I never took Psychology or Communications.

Of course trains of thinking can be flipped according to gender. I believe I fall more on the opposite spectrum and I know at least a few men who live on the other side (looking at YOU Ryan with your whiny rants and entourage of weak lamps/ jk you light up my life).

I told my brother about this and he said we should assign levels when we talk because apparently I missed the day when we learn how to deliver tone. Everything comes out as irritable or condescending, which, to be fair, applies half the time. Like the modern idiom: “For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism”. He also informed me I fail with body language, which I’m told unfortunately makes up 90% of communication. Another one of those social cues to which I am blind, effectively scattering those dreams of becoming an actress or world-class diplomat.

At least I have a person in my life who always understands, the one I am so thankful for faithfully staying with me through the best and worst of days.

I am, of course, referring to the woman in the mirror. I get me so much! #teammyself