Category Archives: Haha

Love Notion #4: The Game

Are you an angel?
– Anakin Skywalker

James Bond, Casanova, Liam Hemsworth…these smooth guys capture the fancy of millions with ease.  What is it with them?   Apparently it may be more than their considerable good looks.  Here is the article that gave me the 411 on the subject that occupies many a man.

The term “game” implies frivolous playing without any serious purpose.   The man (or woman) with this talent has leisure to win many hearts.  Chances are the person having fun may unintentionally lead the other party to feel something real and lose in the end.

There is more to look out for than what is being presented initially as you find a meaningful relationship.  I admit to being charmed by confident individuals who engage the room with their swagger, but would guard against trusting such people regardless of their polished manners.  I would advise to take more care when encountering a dazzler with perfect timing and social grace.  As we learn in Sense and Sensibility, the seductive Mr. Willoughby had all the appearance of openness and was easily liked but was a horrible choice. Honorable Edward was a better find with his modest and reserved character.  But let’s not draw any hasty conclusions. If there’s anything I would teach my peers and anyone with hormones, it would be that automatic decisions should be avoided.  Time and community are good tests to show a person’s true self.

What really turns my head is not necessarily the ladykiller with clever compliments and admirable skills.  More than that, integrity and consideration for others are dealmakers.  It’s wise to expect something underneath the surface presented.  It takes effort to go past the exterior but it’s worth it.  You may not melt immediately due to off-the-chart charisma, but a stable foundation is more valuable than being swept away by someone who gives you a “hey girl”.    Forget the honeyed words, take a second look at the one who builds you a cake and gives you the go ahead to drink 2% milk.

Here’s a toast to all those clumsy geeks with hearts of gold.  Cheers.  You will have your day, my friends!


A Review: Frasier

With its strong themes of family and friendship, Frasier went on for 11 wonderful seasons.   It’s not a show I would normally watch as it is devoid of any hot guys or supernatural elements (excepting Daphne’s infrequent psychic visions).   However I was sold on the stylish French suits, elite restaurant/ opera culture, extensive vocabulary, as well as my fascination in the subject of psychology.  I mainlined the series within a month, such is the state of idleness. 

Dr. Frasier Crane
An intellectual prone to analyze obsessively while attempting to climb social heights.  He is brilliant in dispensing advice and insights while blind to his own faults until he is called out by those close to him.  He is unlucky in love as he is uncompromising and set in his ways therefore feels empty despite success with his career.  Even though he acts overly pretentious he always strives to see the good in people and he learned his ethics and compulsion to help others from his father.  His rambling and oversharing is difficult anyone to bear.  It’s frustrating when Frasier repeatedly tries to keep up a deception instead of coming clean and communicating like an adult (that is not comical, that is stressful, says I). When he was younger his father complained he would read during camping trips and miss out on experiencing anything firsthand which matches my childhood.  Also, his crisis was that he was alone because he is afraid to be alone resonates with me.  I wish I had his ability to speak healing words and other times fly into a refined outrage.

A fussy hypochondriac with plenty of allergies and a fear of bugs, he can be arrogant at times just like his brother.  He is actually the closest to my type of guy, with his lean looks and understated countenance.  It is adorable when he takes to hiding under the piano in times of distress.  He suffered much with his ex wives and had to lose his social circle while taking pains to cut down on luxuries.  The Montana where he resides is quite grand and I get into the image of his sitting neatly the library perusing a novel while dressed in a suit like the old timey nobles.

A conventional man’s man, he served in the Korean war and is the traditional tough guy who doesn’t make problems out of minor things.  He does not understand why men whine and cry like his sons often do, preferring to choose his battles.  He is adept at taking stripes and respecting authority.  To his sorrow he lost his prestigious position as a police officer and has to deal with living with Frasier along with his burden of walking constantly with a cane.  Like myself he has trouble expressing his feelings and likes to just sit and watch tv.  Instead of being bothered by everything he says little and internalizes things to avoid the noise.  I don’t envy his job of raising superior acting sons who are both “delicate doilies”.  His fondness for beer and quirky attraction to young Korean women in general rounds out his character well.

Supporting characters

Daphne: a sassy and intelligent physical therapist who grew up with 8 brothers in England
Eddie: Martin’s buddy –  snarling and begging reminds me of my old terrier Mimi.
Bebe: the vicious and effective viper of an agent
Roz: the promiscuous producer of Frasier’s show with a warm heart
Bob “Bulldog”:  I love his barking and unnecessary tantrums
Gil: uppity food critic whose sneers are hilarious
Donny: casual appearances hide the tough effective lawyer – shame about his jilting
Maris: running gag is that she is never shown – I love hearing the jokes about how skinny she is
Lilith: the stoic vampire mother of Frasier’s son Frederick
Kenny: a pushover manager – very dorky but lovable
Kirby: the teenage son of Frasier’s friend, he is a riot in contrast to Frasier’s stuffiness!!!
James: such a hot barista at Cafe Nervosa who handles any order with ease

Outstanding moments

  • Roz rating Frasier’s performance
  • Martin outsmarting Frasier in talking the radio personalities into banding together
  • Dream sequences when all the obvious fears surface and Martin puts them all down with a few short words
  • Frasier meeting his professor and they parry with psychological concepts
  • Daphne preparing to reject Niles and unable to do so when she realizes her feelings
  • All the tacky Christmas decorations
  • Frasier visiting Niles’ memories of Daphne
  • Martin being proud of Niles’ free throw success for a hot minute
  • Frasier and Lilith supporting each other emotionally during rough times
  • Memories in the hospital when Niles is having surgery
  • Frasier & Niles being bad boys in their auto class passing notes in French
  • Crane men go ice fishing and Martin tells his sons he loves them
  • Frasier consoling Roz over her breakup telling her it will take time and turn to family and friends
  • Anytime another language is spoken or the piano is played
  • Wine off between Frasier & Niles
  • Martin’s fear of both Maris and Lilith
  • Frasier’s epic music score for his radio program
  • Niles following the whim of his dog who has the same appearance and demeanor of his ex wife
  • Dr Nora’s coming undone when her mom visits
  • Victor Garber as the butler, Aaron Eckhart the environmentalist, plus tons of celebrity callers!
  • Frasier instinctively recognizing Daphne’s status change as part of the family
  • Niles dressing down Daphne when she looked into his files
  • Frasier besting the teenage journalists when he guest stars
  • Frasier & Niles trying to fix the toilet and learning to ride bicycles
  • Roz embracing getting older and letting go of her past flighty self
  • Frasier commissioning a replacement for Martin’s chair
  • The beautiful and emotional rewind over the years with the cheese crock

Love above all
The main romantic plot of the show over the years is Niles’ intense and impossible attraction to Daphne while he was married.  I can relate to longing for someone for years but do not agree with the way the characters acted in the name of love.  He ended things with his first wife Maris because she was controlling and inconsiderate.  The second wife he left in a heartbeat because he would throw anyone over for his true love who makes him feel “alive” and “excited”, Daphne.  This from the show that describes divorce as “ripping apart two lovers bound in a sacred union.”  It is a blow to see marriages tossed aside for convenience.  The show also depicts everyone being rampantly promiscuous which is another minus.  On the plus side, the disastrous aftermath of Niles & Daphne’s relationship was realistic, making them fight and earn their choice.   I also appreciated the angle that Daphne took on weight as a way to deal with the pressure of living up to Nile’s illusion and ideal of her over the years.

Literal bromance
Frasier & Niles are obscenely close. They are in sync with their interests and always have each other’s back (sometimes for stabbing) when it comes to their schemes.  They often have petty spats and take their competitiveness to the next level.  However, they acknowledge respect for their sibling and recognize their successes are due in part to their intense rivalry.  It’s such a treat to see their overlapping bickering or geeking out over elite subjects.  Their mini selves in flashback scenes are first-rate!

Witty dialogue
–  On my show I sometimes compare the human psyche to a sailboat that’s borne along the surface of the conscious mind, while the deeper waters of the subconscious navigate the rudder. 
–  There is no such thing as healthy superstition. 
–  Do you have any idea what it’s like to play the same character for twenty years?!
–  [to Daphne] You’re gonna lose your looks? Happens to everyone. [to Frasier] You’re afraid you’re gonna end up alone? You’ll still have your family. [to Niles] You’re afraid you’re gonna be a bad father? Join the club! [to all three] Now just clam up and go to bed!
–  I’ll never forget the look of wonder on her face at touching vinyl for the first time. She said it made her feel cheap and dirty, and she liked it. I was her first bad boy.
– I’m a humane man, but right now I could kick a kitten through an electric fan.
–  If truth be told, it’s been a while since I…romped with abandon through the perfumed gardens of Eros.
–  We all have a tendency to freeze people into roles with which we are most comfortable.
–  Anything else in the box, Pandora?
–  Would you get Eddie off of the couch? Or else it’s out to the garbage chute for the thrill ride of his life!
–  Manicurists, pedicurists, facialists. Whenever you see a man who’s well-groomed, you can bet he’s not gettin’ any.
–  Damn, baby, that’s cold!
–  I almost feel sorry for her. Just another helpless woman suffering from an unslakeable thirst…for Crane
–  People of Seattle, listen to me! We are not barbarians, we are not Neanderthals and we are not French! Do you hear that, you up there?!
–  Oh, I didn’t even know it was boxing season.
–  I’d like to strike you, of course, but you speak the truth!
–  You know, by the way: you have an alphabetical misfile, but I’m not telling you where!
–  Dad? I thought we had an agreement. Eddie doesn’t roll around on my sofa and I don’t throw him in front of a bus.
–  Strange, I usually get some sign when Lilith is in town: dogs forming into packs, blood weeping down the wall…
–  Popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity
–  He asked me to take him, but then I suggested that, when it comes to guns, perhaps he would prefer someone of…(pause for effect) Niles’s calibre. (chuckles to himself) I’m in rare form today.
–  Remember what mom always said: A handshake is as good as a hug
–  My God, woman, I’d drive a stake through your heart but I don’t think anything could kill you!
–  In the end what we regret most are the chances we never took

Clever sayings:  Stay loose, not a whit, I require cocoa, high marks, reality sandwich, being dissed, poppity-pop-pop-pop!

Insult bank: egomanaical gasbag, dink, eat crow, nightmarish carp, going for master’s degree at fat academy, she is like the sun without the warmth, unprincipled charlatan, unconscionable fraud, Isn’t there a zebra carcass somewhere you should be hovering over?

Thank you for all the lessons and classy conversations!  I now have a better awareness of Mongolian throat singing and the Samisen. God bless all the actors and the writers for keeping it fresh all those years!


A Review: Lego Movie

I wish there was a movie like Toy Story but with Legos.  Yeah, a Lego story.  That would be nice.  Wait, it exists?  Everything is awesome!

This movie is a riot and a half. It contains hilarious pop culture references and gags on crack.  There was so much going on visually and the storyline just blows you away.  I can’t praise this movie enough for its clever writing.  The message that everyone is Special and to value creativity didn’t connect with me so much as the dystopia themes in their tiny world.  This movie was on it dialed to 12 in terms of quotable lines and nerd service.


A bland every guy who saves the world with his straight laced ways
and big heart.  Eh, not a fan, even with the couch idea.

Wyldstyle/ Lucy
A woman of many skills.  If you mess with her she will throw a cactus.
My two cents is that she should have stayed with Batman.

Omg the Self Portrait song!!
He is somewhat a jerk but so cool you can’t help but love him.
And that Bruce Wayne board meeting scene, whoa whoa whoa.

I honestly think his role is just to mess with everyone.
And take out robot henchmen.  And sometimes play piano.

Lord Business
That name.  And with such a boss outfit!
The pronunciation gags for the relics are win.

I hate this cat so much, I can’t believe she stayed on with team – I wanted her to die on Cloud CuckooLand.

I didn’t expect this character to stick around either
but he was actually hilarious for a retro dude!

Good cop/ Bad cop
Liam Neeson’s sexy voice is too distracting!   Also, the air quotes line had me rolling.

Metal Beard
Kinda lame.  For some reason this character didn’t work for me.
Even with the shark arm and transformer action.

Abraham Lincoln
He takes off on a rocket chair.  Need I say more?


Say What?!

Release the Kragle!

This is not how Batman dies!

Emmet, you didn’t let me finish. Because I died.

If this relationship is going to work out between us I need to feel free to party with a bunch of strangers whenever I feel like it. I will text you.

Business, business. Numbers.  Is it working? 


Let’s take extra care to follow the instructions or you’ll be put to sleep, and don’t forget Taco Tuesday’s coming next week.

Ughhhhhhhhhh…Fine!  Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine…

I’m going to have to report yyyyyyyyyyyyyy


I super hate you.


Y’all ready for this?  (cue music)  

I prefer the term “experienced”!  

Abraham Lincoln! You bring your space chair right back here!

I’m pretty sure I disturbed a lot of people in the theater.  No doubt I was screaming worse than the kids when Vitruvius fell.  I went nuts seeing the Millennium Falcon swoop in.  The 90’s NBA players catapult sequence got a “Haha, what?!!!”  This is the ultimate movie for any age that hits all the right notes.  What’s that? You haven’t seen it yet? I feel sorry for you. Go now, I dare you not to have fun watching it.  Until then maybe this will tide you over: 21 Coolest Things Ever Made Out Lego

Love Notion #2: The Chase

I had lunch with my cousin this weekend and enjoyed our updates and discussion regarding relationships.  I like how useful it is to hear from a male perspective.  Years ago I found all guys no matter how decent rate girls on scales based on beauty.  Not that females are exempt from making this assessment, you get all kinds of “omg his abs” and “yum cute butt” thrown out by preteens.  I’m not exempt from falling into the meat market mentality but then again my type is not one you would normally find on an Abercrombie bag, ick.

Although my cousin is a gentleman of the highest order I don’t necessarily agree with him when it comes to what I would call dating philosophy.   This is to be expected; even if you are the same gender, culture, background, etc your experiences and observations will influence you to differ on many degrees when it comes to this complicated subject.  I told him my tendency to keep silent whenever I develop feelings for someone.  This is an almost faithful account of what followed.

A: So if you are interested in him why don’t you say anything?
B: I’d rather have him be the first to initiate when he’s ready.
A: What if you keep waiting and he doesn’t notice you?
B: Then he doesn’t see what I’m worth and I don’t lose anything.
A: That’s true but then you are missing an opportunity.
B: He should take action and lead the relationship.  That’s his role and opportunity.
A: He’s probably thinking “I would ask her out but she acts like she doesn’t like me and would reject me.”
B:  (laughing) That’s true.  I treat him like I do my brother.
A: That’s the problem.

Darn, that’s point for him, because if I liked a guy I tend to ignore him or tease him.  Hey, I never said I knew how to flirt…

A: I can’t change how I treat him.  And there are guys that like abuse.
B: Maybe.  Sometimes I know a girl likes me when she is mean.
A: Exactly.  Also, I guess I can text him 5 times a day.
B: No, that’s too aggressive.  Just say you want a meal with him and see where it goes.
A: I’m not comfortable with that.
B: This is the 20th century.  Women ask out men all the time.  It’s okay and guys like when girls take control.

Hold up, this is supposed to persuade me how?  I’m aware of the times we’re living in.  Why should I let modern trends dictate my personal choice?   If anything the way things are going now are an argument for holding onto traditions from back when marriage was taken seriously.

A: I won’t because that is too forward/ unattractive/ desperate.  That type of guy seems lazy to me. I have my preferences and will stay with them.

He then proceeds to give me the definition of insanity.

B: Are you insane?
A: No one is completely sane.
B: Yeah but you always do the same thing expecting change.
A: I follow my routine like everyone else.  I set up group events and if anything happens all I can do is be honest.  As far as my friends and I are concerned it’s almost considered inappropriate to ask a guy out one on one.
B: That may be true but you won’t be move on beyond friendship like this.
A: Being friends is good enough for me. I’m fine waiting for something I want vs settling for whoever.

We ended on a positive note as usual.  I’m almost certain I wasn’t effective in communicating my side of things. He might wonder why I won’t try his idea and expect people to be as old fashioned as I am.  However I must say that men stepping up to move beyond friendship with a woman is not just a reflection of subjective culture.  It’s a matter of maturity.  I know he wants to help and not just trying to tell me for the sake of correcting. I’m fortunate to have family desiring me to find love and someone to take care of me. Most likely he’s willing to leave it amiably since he is happily seeing someone and not prone to bitterness about the subject (whilst I remain free and content). He’ll see. I aim to follow my principles and prove them right by showing rather than telling. Because talk is mostly useless to relatives more than 10 years your elder. I figure I have many years to pick up more good/ bad ideas along the single road. After lunch we went to Home Depot where he bought me a torch that I would use for creme brulee.

B:  I love it.
A: Yeah, you can use it to light that guy you like on fire.
B: But that would mess up his lovely hair.
A: Then don’t aim for the hair.
B: Okay I’ll burn him but not the face or hair.

I have to also end with a side note that in movies you don’t really see girls pursuing guys.

Frozen parody- do you want to be my boyfriend

There’s a reason women using pick up lines or proposing is not ideal in our culture. K, bye, Felicity!


Bromance 4ever

I have a thing for close male friends, sometimes it can make a movie or tv show for me. These couples are legend.

Sherlock Holmes & Dr. John Watson
sherlock1Lie down with me, Watson.

Fast & Furious
Dominic Toretto & Brian O’Conner
fast_five08We ride or die.

Good Burger
Dexter Reed & Ed
007165_18You’ll always be in my head.  And in my heart.

The Green Hornet
Britt Reid & Kato
0622-green-hornet-trailer-seth-rogen_full_600Shandi forever!

Ron Burgundy & Champ Kind
anchorman1I  miss your musk…when this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!

Blades of Glory
Chazz Michaels & Jimmy MacElroy
luurveIf we went to a Halloween dressed as Batman and Robin, I’d go as Robin.

Mad Men
Don Draper & Roger Sterling

The Vampire Diaries
Damon Salvatore & Alaric Saltzman
Dalaric-2x20-damon-and-alaric-20974976-2000-1333I miss you too, buddy.

Boy Meets World
Cory Matthews & Shawn Hunter

Star Trek
James Kirk & Spock

Chandler Bing & Joey Tribbiani

Spongebob Squarepants & Patrick Star
lIt’s the best friends forever, Best Friends Forever ring!

X Men First Class
Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr
tumblr_mnpr2lfWNV1rodtxdo1_500More tea, vicar?

Nothing to Lose
Terrence & Nick Beam
nothing-to-lose--2Will you stay with me forever, Mr Beam?

Turk & JD
scrubs-5It’s guy love between two guys.

Angel & Spike
angel3Are you saying we should start annoying other people?

Lord of the Rings

Sam & Frodo. Just. No. return-of-the-king-sam-frodo

Life’s Not Fair

What we suffer here in the States, unbelievable!

First World Pains

My favorites:

  • I don’t know what SWAG is, but I hope I don’t have it.
  • I finished my drink and I wish I had more.
  • There’s too much money in my wallet, so it’s uncomfortable to sit on.
  • My Girl Scout cookies haven’t been delivered yet and everyone else already has theirs.
  • I’ve overplayed all the decent songs within my preferred genres of music, and now I hate them all.
  • I never have enough time to sleep.  Also, I never have enough time to play video games because I have to sleep.
  • I can’t decide which country to go for my graduation gift.
  • My friends guest room has a sleep number bed that won’t allow me to change the setting.  I’m comfortable, but I’ll never know if I could be more comfortable.
  • I got a haircut and now everyone is saying, “Hey did you get a haircut?”
  • My garbage disposal eats better than 98% of the world.

Expectation Wars

Stuff (Single) Christian (Girls) Like: Getting Upset with Guys for Not Acting Like Real Men

Haha, I know, but a Jane Austen style match is way more likely to happen.

Stuff I Hear at Work

Work.  Location: corporate building. The place where hopes and creativity go to die a slow death (see Office Space).  But if you’re lucky enough to have colorful peers (in the literal and figurative sense!) stuck there with you then it’s not so bad.  They’re as amusing as a reality show AND it’s true life from the streets.

The cast

T: supervisor and genius who always has your back
D: snarks all day in the corner
S: ghetto fabulous and tells the best stories
I:  mini S, brat in training
M: the sweetest and most educated of us all
C: confrontational outspoken gangster, aka my hero
J: work husband, keeper of nerdy facts
A: glam and proud of it

Here’s a free sample of our daily convos:

C: Yeah, so it’s okay to tie up a kid to a tree.

I: They have black sand beaches in Hawaii
S: Shut up, no way!  Does it feel like sand or rocks or what?

I: Yeah it’s been stormy and rainy lately which means we’re probably going to have an earthquake.
M: There’s no such thing as earthquake weather!

(hijacking someone’s gift)
M: Who gave me this? (bottle with a tag)
S: It’s from me.
Everyone else: No, it’s not.
S: Yes it is, I used black construction paper and white out to write on it.  That’s wassup.

S: You ever put jelly on toast? (smacking noises)
A: I don’t like jelly.
D: (walking by) I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.

A: I’m so tired of cheap people I don’t know what to do with myself.

T: We are going to start shipping with this program.
C: F*** no, I’m not doing that (walks away)
S: That didn’t go so well (giggles)

T: This guy gave us a photo of his injury.
C: First of all, that foot looks like it’s been dead for ten years.  Second, he should watch where he steps.

(discussing how we like our steaks and food in general)
D: I think scallops have the best flavor!
I: What’s a scallop?  Is that like a bird?

S: Yeah, it’s just like this one time with a homeless lady and she threw the sandwich yelling for money instead…
C: You got that from a movie.

Repeated lines:

No, man!
Bye, Felicia.
She lie like a rug.
Would you rather…?
Sanji, where did we buy this trolley?
(raise imaginary glass) To evil! (clink)
Homegirl needs to get over it.
Calm down, Gina (there is no one by that name in the building)
The product’s not the one that’s defective.
(Russian accent) In Soviet Russia you do not break stroller, stroller break you!
Is it 4:30 yet?! (quitting time)

More good moments:

Someone showing off their new compact Bible and people flipping through it.  For the most part I love living in this country.

Discussion about sticking with your guy during good times or bad times.  Whether they ramen it up with their sweetie or ballin’ on certain days it says something about loyalty, which I appreciate.

Love to you guys – even when you drive me crazy – I’m sure it’s mutual.  Say it with me, our warranty doesn’t cover stupidity.  4 years and counting!


Women are Crazy Men are Stupid


I read an article once that said that when women have a conversation, they’re communicating on five levels. They follow the conversation that they’re actually having, the conversation that is specifically being avoided, the tone being applied to the overt conversation, the buried conversation that is being covered only in subtext, and finally the other person’s body language. That is, on many levels, astounding to me. I mean, that’s like having a freaking superpower. When I, and most other people with a Y chromosome, have a conversation, we’re having a conversation. Singular. We’re paying attention to what is being said, considering that, and replying to it. All these other conversations that have apparently been going on for the last several thousand years? I didn’t even know that they existed until I read that stupid article, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. …

So, ladies, if you ever have some conversation with your boyfriend or husband or brother or male friend, and you are telling him something perfectly obvious, and he comes away from it utterly clueless? I know it’s tempting to thing to yourself, ‘The man can’t possibly be that stupid!’ But yes. Yes, he can. Our innate strengths just aren’t the same. We are the mighty hunters, who are good at focusing on one thing at a time. For crying out loud, we have to turn down the radio in the car if we suspect we’re lost and need to figure out how to get where we’re going. That’s how impaired we are. I’m telling you, we have only the one conversation. Maybe some kind of relationship veteran like Michael Carpenter can do two, but that’s pushing the envelope. Five simultaneous conversations? Five? Shah. That just isn’t going to happen. At least, not for me.
– The Dresden Files

Spongebob: You wanna join us?
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: Okay. Have fun inside!
Squidward: What do you mean, “have fun inside?”
SpongeBob: Just… have fun inside, see you tomorrow.
Squidward: Oh. Bye. (Rushes out again, SpongeBob and Patrick start reading again.) You little sneak! I see what you’re doing!
SpongeBob: (Confused) What?

Squidward: Don’t think I can’t see what you’re doing!
SpongeBob: What?
Squidward: (Accusingly) You’re saying I can’t take it.
SpongeBob: But all I…
Squidward: Huh! You’re saying I’m soft. You think your little “have fun inside” challenge is going to make me come camping with you. But that is NEVER going to happen! There’s no way I’m going to sit out here all night with you two losers! So get used to it.
SpongeBob: Okay. Have fun inside!
Squidward: (Yelling) That’s it! I’m in! I’ll show you camping!

Males: WHAT is that supposed to mean?

The main key being: “(er) What? (no clue)”

Females: What is THAT supposed to mean?

The first excerpt with Harry’s observation does not solely point out how dense men can be, it also reflects the complexity of a woman’s mind. By “complexity” I mean hyper-sensitive-schizo-paranoid-manipulative-analysis-at-every-angle-while-inferring-unrelated-negative-themes. Admittingly this subconscious process sounds petty and tiresome. A suggestion to those who lead into useless fights this way would be to stop and change their pill type from crazy to chill. In the world of salesmen and politicians the 5 levels are employed offensively in their sadistic games and even purposely developed to their advantage. Sick respect.

A translation to a typical woman’s sayings and other good stuff:

And we have this prize example:

“What do you think about [insert anything here]?”
She might ask you this question and truly believe on the inside that she’s genuinely interested in your answer. This is a trick, this is only a trick. she means to say is, “Confirm that you feel the same way I feel about this.” I ain’t got a clue why women continue to ask men questions like this They probably want to give the man a chance to speak his opinion before they tell him their own. In reality, this is only a trick that’s best avoided by saying either “I’ve never really thought about it” or making a real good assumption at what you think her answer will be and making that yours. (

I know I really appreciate it when someone interviews me with open-ended questions in order to fish for a response that complements or contrasts with their hidden agenda.
Nope. Wait. Over it. Let’s chuck that mess in the trash. How about narrow the question down to specifics so as not to overwhelm the recipient with a generally broad concept?

Is there a better or worse way of thinking?
If you ask me personally this is a loose breakdown:

Rational + logic = right
Irrational + emotion = no solution

The one who can handle both planets of communication wins at life. If I could choose it would be the KISS method. Just say what you mean and mean what you say. What is the point of all these mind games? How is the conflict derived from double speak/ tests/ and expectations beneficial? This can’t change overnight but shouldn’t we be willing to adjust and meet halfway? What do I know, I’m not a doctor. I never took Psychology or Communications.

Of course trains of thinking can be flipped according to gender. I believe I fall more on the opposite spectrum and I know at least a few men who live on the other side (looking at YOU Ryan with your whiny rants and entourage of weak lamps/ jk you light up my life).

I told my brother about this and he said we should assign levels when we talk because apparently I missed the day when we learn how to deliver tone. Everything comes out as irritable or condescending, which, to be fair, applies half the time. Like the modern idiom: “For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism”. He also informed me I fail with body language, which I’m told unfortunately makes up 90% of communication. Another one of those social cues to which I am blind, effectively scattering those dreams of becoming an actress or world-class diplomat.

At least I have a person in my life who always understands, the one I am so thankful for faithfully staying with me through the best and worst of days.

I am, of course, referring to the woman in the mirror. I get me so much! #teammyself