Conversation Snobbery

Chitter chatter, don’t matter/
yidder, yidder, yadder/

It don’t matter to me

– Move On

You can judge a person by their cover; appearances give a glimpse of their priorities. You can also judge on content; they’re made obvious by the use of speech.  We are and should be defined by what we say, as it reveals our natures (falling in line with our actions).  However, people don’t seem to realize something when they are carelessly throwing out phrases and topics like a wasteful steward:

Words should be used with commitment and meaning behind them.

Why small talk is common I’ll never know. Ask me a vague question, like “How are you?” and “Are you ok?” Overload and meltdown is imminent. The first thing I think is “So cliche…but what do I say?!” There are dozens of reactions floating through my mind in the space of a second. If reasonably composed I can respond in a lucid fashion the satisfactorily standard “fine” and feel exhausted. I wonder what are they trying to get at with this empty noise? Most likely nothing, they just care enough to get some updates on your well being. But as they can observe I stand here in relatively sound mind and body. I can’t make heads or tails of it, why is it considered appropriate to probe about my emotional state when I don’t even contemplate it? Don’t get me started on those who collect information on everyone and use it for their own purposes without regard to privacy.

Safe button topics:
– What did you do yesterday?
– Watch any movies lately?
– Which Taylor Swift’s songs are the best/worst?
– Are manners important anymore?
– If you could choose, what 3 things would you bring on remote island?
– Would you rather…

I was never properly trained to share outside significant points of interest. It’s infinitely preferable to listen to someone before I can contribute. I pick and choose my company on many points, presenting a decent stream of critically examined thoughts is one of them. Lame vernacular is disgusting and fills me with irritation. I hear the following dreadful comments/queries and wish to leave the room while silently remarking on how dumb it all sounds:

When someone’s name comes up
Say hi to them for me
Why, is your phone broken?

Reunions
How’s life?
Nice when there’s soda and I’m away from people

Moving/ Traveling
We’ll visit you
Eh, not likely

Past event
How was it?
Everything is awesome.

Trendy establishment
We should totally go there and soon!
Is that a promise or are you just exercising your tongue?

First time meeting
So what do you do?
Stalk Ed Sheeran online, karaoke events, binge read and watch…oh, you meant my
job

Any given time
What do you think?
Yes, no, maybe so, nothing.

I know, I’m a monstruous biddy who should be left socializing with plants. But yeah, sick of all the talk when nothing is actually being said. I only recognize and respect people who go into the deep and direct (appropriately). Cut the pleasantries and thoughtless open-ended questions. Be more specific and tell me something that counts. I’m not saying we need to behave as if our words are to be printed and rated for wit but at least give an ounce of effort to spare us mindless drivel and its consequences. It gives me shudders that we have right to speak and write freely but reduce its potential relying mainly on emoticons, animal stickers, and gifs.

Extremely dysfunctional introverts like myself are weird and unfriendly. We tend to ponder and evaluate before we answer if at all. Having to get a dialogue going is accurately likened to physically working out. That’s why we are fine with silence. We can sit in a room with people left to observe and process what is happening. If we must speak, let it be for something productive. This is not to say we model the best behavior. We need to bend and meet our obtuse extravert counterparts halfway as they go on and on stating the obvious. I think explaining to each other and changing our approaches slightly will benefit us both immensely.

smalltalk

S0kdbUY

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2 responses to “Conversation Snobbery

  • Lil

    “Everything is awesome,” hahaha…

    Hmm. I don’t talk much either, but I find I also don’t listen that well; I don’t catch very much information in one go. Small talk often consists of sound bytes that are easier (for me) to swallow. But I see how too much can basically amount to audio junk food.

    I resort to small talk when the world fills me with nerves, which impedes my listening. It’s also easy to get caught up in when others do it, depending on the group I’m with.

    To me, digging deep takes courage and resolve. Maybe more of us need to leave our shallow comfort zones in order to enjoy meatier conversation. The deeper we dig, the more likely we’ll strike gold. Even better when imagination’s involved. Hopefully then the nerves will finally die.

    Thanks for this post…gave me plenty to think about. 🙂

    • iheartccs

      You bring up a good point, sharing meaningful dialogue isn’t easy for people in most situations, i just have never been good at small talk but getting better at that game. Everyone has their forte of preferred topic, it’s an art to synchronize listening and contributing while you’re adjusting to someone’s unique style.

      And as for our conversations, they’ve always been meaty and fulfilling!

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