That one impossible dining companion. Picky about certain items and allergic to others. Woe to anyone who has experienced the horror. I cannot make excuses because I am one of those creatures. I wish I could consume every dish out there and enjoy them but it is not to be.
I loved all food growing up, but somewhere along the way decided to ignore plants on my plate. Then 5 years ago my body decided it didn’t want wheat products. Somewhere in between I started getting headaches from dairy. Why me? It was too much to say goodbye to my beloved pizza and hamburgers. I resisted as much as I could but later gave up and settled in my bubble of limited products. That’s not the end of my issues when it comes to food though:
The hot rule
Eat it while it burns your tongue! But only temperature wise. Spicy can stay outta sight.
No mixing sugar with savory
Maybe I’m unsophisticated when it comes to complex flavors, but orange chicken and peanut butter are disgusting to me. The most confounding item would be rice pudding. I mean, horchata, I get. Shikye, fine. But full on cooked rice with sweet milk in its mushy form, Aunt Jemima that’s strange.
Food and drink combination
I have to have a beverage proportional to the amount of food present. If I was offered sip or a bite to eat on its own I would refuse.
You don’t make friends with salad
To reiterate, I don’t touch grassy items. I much prefer flesh.
Flavor is half the battle. But if the noodles are overcooked, custard is watery, and blended drinks aren’t smooth, I put my grouchy hat on for a minute.
Don’t coat the meat!
Barbecue= see sweet/salty rule
Chicken nuggets= no dip
Hamburgers & hot dogs= plain (back when I could eat them)
I know, 99 problems, right? I make Monk look like Homer Simpson. I am fortunate to have friends that are understanding and still have me around for meals. To counter the above, I want to mark these:
Things I love
Boiling Point – there is crack in their broth, I’m sure of it
Umami – poutine style with skinny fries, omg….
Tofu house – barbeque and side dishes from my childhood town
The most crippling part is my gluten intolerance. If there is a plus side it would only be those times when people try to give away miscellaneous food at their house party since I have an airtight reason not to take leftovers home. I’m always moved when someone gives me extra consideration at a home function or when choosing a restaurant. And living where I do, there is a plethora of gluten-free options, it’s like a treasure hunt. It could be worse, I could have full celiac disease. I always remember no matter how much of a hassle I go through to be grateful to have food every day, because not everyone does.
I feel you, homeboy.