Monthly Archives: July 2014

5 Terrible Tropes

Usually I’m insufficiently hateful or verbose enough to tear apart a book or movie.  I tend to cover media in fan-girl mode, that’s why they’re “A” Reviews.   But not all tropes are rainbows and butterflies.  If you’re a writer or filmmaker who utilizes these, I’m begging you, cool it!

Eye Open
No, I’m not ready for a close up.  For some reason they like to shove a camera into a person’s face for emotional effect or something. I especially hate it when someone who was peacefully sleeping wakes up violently.  My vote: maintaining a healthy distance hurts no one.
Ahhh!: Catching Fire, Resident Evil, Avatar, Breaking Dawn, The Matrix

Fourth date marriage
Accidentally in love, then bam, they’re at the altar.  The average time it takes to fall head over heels with your soulmate is 3 days in movie time, and that might be generous.  Why is romance so often cheap and careless?
Happily Whatever: While You Were Sleeping, Hitch, Romeo + Juliet, The Proposal, Shrek, most Disney and Nicholas Sparks stories

Framing device
Narrator: “This is a story about…and then this happened…and then the end”
Me: No thanks, for adding nothing interesting at all. 
Unnecessarily setting up scenes that switch back and forth to the storyteller the whole time.  Unlike using significant minor flashbacks that would be far more efficient they decide to throw in inane details and useless extra characters throughout the entire film, testing my patience.
GTFO: Titanic, The Notebook, Forrest Gump, Great Gatsby, Water for Elephants, Ever After, The Princess Bride, Life of Pi

In medias res
Argh, is it too much to ask for stories to be told in its proper chronological format? I have such a grudge for its lack of order plus that it’s become ultra trendy. My friends practically stop the DVD and run for cover whenever there’s a prelude cutting to an earlier scene and I would scream, “NO!!! This is out of context!!!”
1) hacked and unartistic
2) useless the story
3) insults the viewer
4) completely overdone
5) distracting and choppy
Oh bother: Inception, Miss Potter, The Illusionist, The Help, Mrs Winterbourne, Moulin Rouge
Well played exceptions: The Prestige, Crash, Memento

Charade
You lied to me?! All this was to get that woman’s money? – Anastasia
Holding a secret or feeding into a misunderstanding.  I’m too lazy to keep up a false cover so I’m not keen to enjoy an entire premise where a “hero” is caught up in a lie.  It may be they are trying for humorous consequences or drama but I just feel like when it hits the fan there’s just destruction and betrayal, not entertainment, in its wake.  It’s one thing if the duplicity was given as a sophisticated double cross or by a evil manipulator with an end game. Sometimes it can be done well, in the style of Shakespearean comedies but unsuccessful investments otherwise.  Usually they involve an harmless reporter or a bet, which is less than riveting.
Wtf: Rango, Brave, Just Go With It, Something Borrowed, She’s All That, 10 Things I Hate About You, Hitch, Dan in Real Life, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Never Been Kissed
It’s for a good cause exceptions: 21 Jump Street, Ever After

What do I know, my taste runs the same as the average vampire-loving teenager anyway. There’s no accounting why certain themes push our buttons.   Let’s just agree that we all like stupid things. Counter list coming soon!

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Artwork: Vyacheslav Mishchenko

Apparently some loopy Ukrainian dude thought he would go outside and make escargot pose to take photos from their perspective.

 

Macro-photos-of-snails-by-vyacheslav-mishchenko-7-600x555Snails

Wow. Who knew our slimy friends could be such graceful models while providing cuteness overload? I imagine their mini hopes and ambitions as they journey wherever their fancies lead each day. Fare thee well, mayhap ye wander into sodium-free lands of dew and flowers…